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Exactly *Where* Did You Put Your Wart?!

031113_0822 blog

Just when I think I’ve lost it, blogging-wise, my dear children come along to provide me with new material. It shouldn’t surprise me. I mean, this blog was started  because of my children in the first place.  First to share our adoption journey with friends and family that lived out-of-state. Then to share my stories from Motherhood.

Lately, I’m so tired I don’t feel like I have a brain cell left to be clever or witty. I’m fueled by too much coffee and not enough sleep. Then along comes my child.

A certain child, who shall remain nameless to prevent future therapy bills, recently had a wart treated at the doctor’s office. No biggie. It was not painful. It’s only one wart. Warts happen.

Said Child approached me this morning informing me that the wart in question had now fallen off.

“I went to put my hand in my pocket and it came right off!”

“Cool” I said.

Then my parenting wisdom, gleaned over the last seventeen plus years kicked in. I knew I had to ask.

“Where did you put your wart?”

“In a bag, so I can look at it under the microscope later”.

We homeschool, so this didn’t sound too terribly unusual.

“Okay, but where is your wart right now?” I pressed.

“I put in a bag. To save for later”.

“Where is the bag? Where is your wart right now?”

“In the drawer under the juicer”.

Yes.  A child of mine, a child who came out of my very womb, thought it a good plan to put a recently shed wart in a drawer in the kitchen. The kitchen where I cook meals. Meals we eat. Meals that nourish body and soul.

Meals that now make me want to vomit.

And if you still have any appetite left, for food or blog, you may want to read the story about  Enoch and his goldfish. Go on, I dare you.

11 Comments

  1. Melissa Knox-Raab

    Oh, warts! We have tried everything from nail polish to snails. Yes, snails. The Chinese medicine doc, whom I normally trust, said that one way to cure warts is to have an ordinary garden slug crawl over them, leaving its little slimy trail behind. Yes. I’m sure our dermatologist would have an apoplectic fit if she heard that one. The other cure, also not loved by the dermatologist, is Thuja. So we’ve tried all those tricks and the slugs did seem to have an effect on one child . . . the Thuja worked on one child, not on another.
    At least the kid put the thing in a plastic bag. Hey, that’s a thoughtful kid. Ours would probably flick them on the kitchen floor, or catapult them into the stew.

  2. Erica Sargent

    Thanks for this post. I needed it! We are getting our home ready to sell, and it ain’t easy when your helpers are young. This was a good laugh and reminder all kids do these un-adult-like things!

  3. C Smith

    A group of my kids once took to freezing ants and other creepy crawlies in our icetrays. They claimed it was for a future “spearment”. I was afraid to open the freezer for weeks, now I often find them “saving” chewed gum in the fridge. It’s disgusting. People tell you how hard parenting is, but they don’t tell you how gross it is. LOL!

  4. Melissa

    Oh Warts!! I really do not like them! But, I have a home remedy that has never failed me yet…apple cider vinegar. Pull a small piece from a cotton ball (just big enough to fit on the wart). Dip cotton in apple cider vinegar. Put cotton on wart and keep in place with a band aid or some type of bandage. Replace the cotton each day. The wart will die from the inside out, turn black, and fall off.
    This works on plantar warts and regular warts.
    My daughter is really prone to warts and we spent a small fortune on freezing and injecting her warts to try and get rid of them. My friend passed on this gem of a home remedy and we have never had to return to the doctor for warts again!

  5. Tonymasons

    I keep getting asked for a username and password whenever I open the site for the first time each day. Is anyone else seeing this?
    I can cancel it and everything works fine. Somewhat irritating though.

  6. Jessica

    Kids are so gross 🙂 My child got upset at me when I rinsed a lost tooth because he wanted to save part of the gum attached to see if it would turn into another David. Bleck!
    I also see the pop up asking for authentication, but cancel handles it fine. 😀 I’m mostly worried someone will try to log on or something and mess something up.

    • bakersdozenandapolloxiv

      Gross! Thanks for the info about the pop-up. I have no idea why that is happening, I will try to get that figured out.

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